Sidestepping the Patriots Loss

Yes, we saw the Patriots get manhandled by the Dolphins. We saw Ronnie Brown (benched in most fantasy leagues this week, to my pleasure) score 4 touchdowns and throw for another one, while mostly out of a formation that professionals do not run because the linebackers are too fast and too smart for this play to work. Yes, we saw it. Some of us watched the whole game wondering to ourselves "Why am I bothering to watch the end of this?" and yet kept the TV on CBS and caught the whole game. Was it because we thought there would be a comeback? No, when your team is getting thoroughly dominated like that, even your deepest fanhood desires squash out any hope of a comeback. Was it because there were no other football games on TV? YES!

During week 3 games started at 1:00 EST, we saw two go to overtime (NYG-Cin & TB-Chi), one game decided by one point (Buf-Oak) and BC alum Matty Ryan torch the Chiefs. Not to mention the Arizona-Washington game was decided by 7 points the Carolina-Minnesota by 10. There are 5 games I'd rather watch during the 4th quarter than the Pats continue to get dominated. And yet, what did we have to watch? The Pats get pummeled. The fact that with a regular cable package we cannot get an alternative to the Pats game is a disgrace. Back in the day (what, three years ago?) we'd get two or three games on regular cable for the 1:00 and 4:00 time slot. One Sunday night game and one Monday night game. Perfect. We can pick our favorite game of the week. Now, being a true Pats fan, I will watch pretty much all of the Pats games, but switch over during commercials to see some other teams in the NFL. Is that a problem?

I consider myself a clever man. I realize the NFL is, at its heart, a business. And the goal of any business is to make money. However, this shallow outlook on businesses really screws over the customer. A hospital is a business, but I'd like to think their goal is to save lives, and not to turn a profit. And so, the NFL, like most other major sporting leagues has lost its way. And if you think I'm wrong about the other major league sports, ask a real Lakers fan about the celebrities that sit on the floor who don't know a thing about basketball. Or ask a young Sox fan how many times he's been to Fenway (or better yet, his dad on how much he spent last time he was there). And as for the NHL: well, did you know they're preseason started yesterday? The NFL's ticket prices have soared like every major sport, and along with it the contracts, merchandise and profits. I'm willing to pay a lot of money for a nice Tom Bra... uhh... Teddy Bruschi jersey. Hell I'm willing to pay nearly $200 just to get good seats at Gillette. But that isn't enough for the NFL.

The TV contracts the NFL receives must be astronomical. The NFL is, I believe, the most watched sport in our country per event (easy now, NASCAR fans). Even teams as hopeless as the Raiders this year will sell a lot of tickets and have a faithful following watching their games. And even I, who has no liking of the Raiders, wouldn't mind catching a few of their games. Is Jamarcus Russell as bad as his stats are? How is this McFadden kid doing? Say, they sure did play the Bills tough! But I didn't see it. I saw the Pats get annihilated. Why? Beacuse if there is only one game on TV, we are forced to sit through the commercials, and companies are willing to pay more to advertise on these games. So kudos to all those big companies who advertise during the Pats game, and thanks for screwing me even more. I'd abandon purchasing their products, but then I'd have no beer to drink or cars to drive.

I am aware I can pay some large amount of money for the NFL package and see all the games I want. Well woohoo to that! I don't want all the games. I cannot possibly imagine trying to flip through eight games at once, or only seeing the scoring plays. I have ESPN to show me all the scores and other crap I don't care about. I want to watch two games, one in its entirety, and another while the other game is boring, in commercial, or a blowout. Three games is optimal, so you can, with high probability, watch an exciting game, but two would be OK. Even when my team is playing, I want another option.

So to NFL Commissioner Roger "Hardass" Goodell, give me two games. Just two, and I'll even deal with the 6-man pregame arguments that turn into white noise. I'll put up with Joe Buck's mediocre announcing. Just give me no less than two games during the 1:00 and 4:00 time slots. Stop the business model, and start taking care of your patients. You can screw us over to turn your astronomical profit into an unfathomable profit, and you're doing just that. But I truly hope you, and all your business partners helping you have a lot of trouble sleeping at night. And if you don't, then I hope the next time you're cheating on your significant other with a hooker you picked up in Vegas, you get a bad case of herpes.


This post written by Kyle "No Talkie About Pats Lossie" Baxter