Shameful Makeup Sex

I know that after you breakup with someone you're not supposed to go back to them for sex. As much as you want it to be meaningless and shallow, it just never is. You remember how much love there used to be, how much they meant to you, and the meaningless, physical satisfaction turns into regret, shame, and depression. And despite knowing full well what would result if I were to go crawling back to them, I had makeup sex with the Bruins.

I didn't mean to, the World Series game was delayed due to rain, and there was nothing on TV. But the Bruins were playing and it was like being horny and drunk and seeing your girlfriend out. Even though I said I was done with them, I was a little desperate and fell right into the trap. And of course, the sex was fantastic.

That is, the B's won 5-4, with Milan Lucic scoring the game winning goal with 1:49 left in the game. That goal was Lucic's third of the game and although the announcer said "It's raining hats" I didn't see more than 40 hats thrown on the ice. Lucic is 20 years old and at 6'4" 220lbs is one of the biggest players on the B's this year. He plays hard, hits hard, and I had decided during his first shift in the third period that I liked this kid. He made my choice look great by scoring two goals during the remainder of the game and banging hard in the corners. You might also remember Lucic as the guy who broke the glass with Van Ryn's head (see Bruins 2008-09 Moment of the Year).

And what I noticed was that the B's do have some young talent up front that are really fun to watch. They don't have goaltending - Manny Fernandez looked pretty awful tonight - and they don't have a great defensive core (Chara aside) so they will be lucky to make it past the first round of the playoffs (although they might be good enough for an 8-seed).

And so I sit around my room alone, remembering what once was. Am I ready to get back in a full fledged relationship with the Bruins? Well, I'm pretty sure Sinden and the Jacobs Brothers will end up trading Lucic and Kessel for a few aging defensemen, a star winger 9 years beyond his prime, and a double quarter pounder with cheese. So I'm not sure I'm ready for that quite yet. But I did enjoy the sex, and I even enjoyed the cuddling and talking afterward. So even if it's not quite time for a full commitment to the Bruins, I think I might try to see her pretty regularly. I mean, can you forget the good times:









Written by Kyle Baxter: Shameless Whore